Thursday, July 26, 2007
2:46 PM
arrgghh.. juz realise dat 3 of my most recent post is not up..!! y?? haiyo.. stupid lappie.. sigh.. oh well.. 4 get it.. it was full of curses and swearing.. lol..
well2.. i passed my skills.. haha.. so happi.. well felt guilty dat i din practise much as i shud hav.. but well.. i passed in any case ya.. haha.. hmm.. theory was oukay.. not bad la.. can ans.. even tho i studied like 1 hour b4 da test.. haha.. dats darina... always da last min person.. well.. last min 4 test n exam only la.. haha.. wat can i say.. i work well under pressure.. haven break yet.. haha.. =P
God.. school comp is so slow.. half way thru my module evaluation.. haha.. finally im done with it.. haha.. my english so "chim-ology" la, 4 da evaluation.. lol.. so esctatic.. how long has it been since i use "high valued words' in my conversation?? miss having ppl pondering about wat im talking during lessons and reading my compo.. haha.. =0
niwae.. consensus in class like been low da past weeks.. ppl hav been falling sick.. now its sq turn.. poor mummy.. get well oukay.. miss u.. praying hard 4 ur speedy recovery.. =)
Hmmm.. my presentations only left with geron.. all finished.. today had da socio presentation.. Ms wee is like so damn gd mood lor.. haha.. hope it reflects gd on our evaluation sheet.. haha.. well.. so i can study less 4 exam.. haha.. not dat i lazy la.. but im wrkin oso.. damn tired.. sob2..
Tanks 4 da few special individuals who made me realise dat im a unique, special homo sapien and dat no one in dis world is like me.. no1 juggles jobs, sch, boyfren, frens prob, sis prob, family prob like i do.. =) i feel very honoured dat at least in dis small world there r ppl who appreciate n respect u 4 who u r.. dey dun criticise wat u do, ur opinions etc.. there's always a reason 4 all dats happened, they say.. dey stand by u and proudly announced dat ppl may say, if anything happens 2 u, ill be by urside but 4 dem so long as dey r wif me, nothing shall happen 2 me.. =) i feel totally appreciated n 4 those out there who juz feel dat im some idiot who only do stupid stuff., i dun care already.. =) im in my own life rite now.. and soon, im free frm judgemental ppl.. =)
those who feel sad.. i hope my post has somehow enlightened u guys 2 believe in urself and luv urself 4 who u are.. LOVE URSELF MORE THAN U LOVE OTHERS.. den u can love others da way u wan others 2 love u.. =) tat's all folks.. =) * looney tunes song* lol..
lurve me, if u dare, hate me, c if i care...
Monday, July 16, 2007
2:48 PM
Currently sitting at home having my blissful rest.. Well not exactly da bliss dat I want, considering dere’s a ferocious monster breathing under my neck.. (A.k.a my mum) so naggy la.. Very irritated liao.. want 2 go out and get some fresh air 2 breath, instead of sharing wif da monster at home.. but wait until da pain subsides.. been having dis excruciating abdominal cramps.. not even tyme of da month la.. mine is over like 1 week ago.. been constipated 4 2 days le.. yes constipated!! 2 days!! But da pain as if u neva bomb 4 1000 days!! My god.. cant even wake up la.. hope Ms Joan n my classmates understand ya.. very sorri 4 not cuming 2 sch 2day.. haiz.. muz drink more fluids and eat more fibre.. More RED BULL pls!!
Hmmm… yesterday went hope quite late.. closing a lot lor.. was like got 6 full brown trays.. plus 2 and a half basin of utensils.. still got da pasta dish.. damn. Alone wash sum more.. haiz.. still got 2 do other closing duties.. tanks 2 da ppl whom I work with who are very relaxed I must say.. zee went home first, den maisarah.. filz finished at 9, but she sit there neva help.. haiz.. sum ppl can be so freaking oblivious 2 their surrounding sumtimes.. so wat if ur supervisor sia.. hmmm. But tanks 4 da hitch ya.. appreciate it after a long day standing.. im juz complaining bcoz im so exhausted.. 2 STRAIGHT days of WASHING!! Ya.. my hands becum so wrinkled n coarse.. now where is da lotion…
Greenridge pizza hut has really.. erm evolved?? In a degrading manner?? Well.. sumting like dat la.. I used 2 like wrking dere.. very fun working environment.. da ppl ur wrking wif is always appreciative, supportive, thoughtful.. not dat da staff now r not.. but less ppl now.. well.. ppl change.. me 2. I guess.. I’ve learn 2 adapt 2 dis totally diverse way of management.. but I juz cant take it already la.. dey not appreciative of wat u do.. dey dun understand if a staff has sumting on at da very last minute.. dey dun understand dat sickness actually cus very sudden and not sumting dat is plan.. its not sumting dats gradual and u knw when is da peak n dat u can inform way earlier so dat u can actually find replacement.. speaking of which.. dey cant comprehend dat dere is really no one 2 cover 4 u in da event u r sick or cant make it bcoz every1 else has a plan.. 2 dem, dere will always hav 2 b sum1 2 replace u.. by hook or by crook.. haiz..
A few ppl already verbalise dat dey wan 2 quit. Others mention dat dey wan 2 go KFC or mac 2 work.. da riders dat is.. higher pay, den no closing duties and more no of dockets.. hmm.. wat is going 2 bcum of GRPH..?? n national day is so near.. who is goin 2 work like dat.. I knw a few dun want 2 work n dat day.. haha.. which includes me.. I want watch fireworks!! Lol.. so wat if got double pay but u slog at work like a mad person?? I rather enjoy.. its not as if watch fireworks muz pay rite?? Lol.. hehe.. den I want 2 order pizza n complain about every minor detail!! Pizza burnt la, lasagne half cook, garlic bread squashed, drumlets overdone, order late.. haha.. make sure on dat day I get a complimentary meal.. hehe.. or better still I neva work, yet I eat at da restaurant itself.. haha.. it will be fun 2 c da reaction of da ppl wrking!! Haha.. anyone want 2 jon me, my dear GRPH colleagues?? =) *winks*
Looking back, I dun knw why I’ve been acting strangely dis days, like da past 2 weeks.. im pretending 2 be happy & smiling 2 others when im evidently not alright.. ppl asked if im oukay and wats wrong, all I can afford 2 reply is a weak smile and an insignificant “ya”.. im really sorri but im juz not prepared 2 tell ppl my side of da story yet.. I rather ppl look at me and regard me as da happy-go-lucky type as sum of my colleagues put it.. cool as a cucumber.. nothing can shake me off dat sort of person.. well, I want 2.. but sumtimes its kinda 2 much n da fact dat da verge of breaking is really drawn 2 a close.. haiz.. still hanging on.. still… ALIVE.. sigh..
lurve me, if u dare, hate me, c if i care...
Saturday, June 30, 2007
7:50 PM
Hi there.. lol.. sound so formal rite.. haha... hmmm... so long neva blog liao.. haha.. alot ppl pestering me 2 update.. yup2.. so im updating.. hehe.. yupsie!! =)
Hmmm, 1st of all.. i would like 2 tank all the ppl who hav given me their full support and encouragement thru dis trying times i had.. who stood by me through dis complexed times.. i really appreciate it u guys.. u guys knw who u guys are.. hehe.. i dun nid 2 mention rite.. =) *winks..
IN any case, im really exultant that im with Rasfan back.. damn.. aren't i over da moon.. lol.. cum 2 tink of it.. it was once my nick 4 frenster.. over da moon.. lol.. ahahakz...
niwae.. back 2 me n him.. yup2.. im back.. haha.. 4 dose who actually dont knw.. it was on our 13 months he initiated it.. he tot dat we shud think over if we were suited 4 each other.. he alleged dat i was not behaving like a propr lady and dat i was often rude.. haiz.. i actually deem dat kind of reasoning as a ludicruos reason after 13 months we've been together la.. so poignant.. haiz..
but all well now.. i guess.. we've talked bout it n everytin.. i've promised 2 change.. ya.. i genuinely mean it oukay.. lol... he 2, promised 2 change.. but dunno when.. still smoking his lungs out.. n now very frequently, kept congregating wif his grp of frens.. haiz.. left me all alone.. sad2.. =( dis one whole weak only on thursday la, go out wif him.. even his mum conjectured dat there's sumtin goin on between me n him.. haha.. hmmm.. but everytin's oukay now.. so ya.. happi.. im so happi...!! =)
oh ya guys n gals.. btw.. im changing my blogspace soon.. u guys shud knw y oso... hehe.. i will go ur blogs n ask u guys 2 link me.. hehe.. so yup!! lastly.. i luv u guys soooooo much.. BUT.. i luv HIM more!! haha.. he's my baby.. my dearest.. hehe.. =) luv u 2 bits darling.. =)
lurve me, if u dare, hate me, c if i care...
Thursday, May 24, 2007
8:40 AM
guess wat i got 4 my 1 year anniversary wif fan?? an injured leg.. yup.. haiz.. dunno la.. dun ask me wat happen.. im in a state of shock as well.. sigh.. very da painful la.. haiz..
well.. wont b goin sch 4 a couple of days.. of course will still b in sch 4 presentation la.. but it wud b very difficult la.. haiz...
lurve me, if u dare, hate me, c if i care...
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
10:51 PM
hmmm.. alot of tings happen since i neva blog.. currently feeling very sour n upset bout certain tings.. y muz i bother bout wat others say in da 1st place..? i dun usually care bout others opinions towards me n yet today im not my usual self.. 2 sensitive dis past weeks.. damn..
why cant u share ur knowledge dat u hav wif others n help dem 2 succeed as well as you... i mean, isn't it kind of selfish?? its juz how 2 do a freakin poster using photoshop, not giving dem da whole ideas on wat to do for their project rite...?? haiz juz dun understand ppl.. juz remember.. knowledge is only powerful when its shared.. geddit..??
niwae.. 2 change da subjects abit.. tom is my 1 year anniversary wif fan..!! haha.. belly2 hapi.. hmmm.. we cum long way ler.. hope dis relationship lasts long kays dear.. i love u so much.. lol... ok2.. no PDA here.. (public display of affection)
but still.. finish sch late tomolo.. further more still got medical appointment.. n fan still hav 2 work.. he's sick u knw.. haiz.. shooo sad.. haha..
oh well... only he is my source of happiness at dis moment.. hmmm.. oh well.. blog again soon.. v.tired.. =P
*Knowledge is only powerful when its shared.. Some ppl pursue happiness, others create it.. me?? i destroy dem.. *
lurve me, if u dare, hate me, c if i care...
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
2:15 AM
happen 2 read my frens blog n i feel so much beta.. hmmmm..=)
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To my dear Darina..[[And also to my other dear friends..]]Just wanna say don't give up girl..To me, crying is not a sign of weakness..Yes, it might seem so..Even when I cry I just hate it when others see me cry and I have the same thinking as you..But..It happens..Even so, I think that crying helps..It helps us release some stress somewhere, since we cant get to release it elsewhere(what, you wanna cut yourself?we also can't like shout our hearts out in this small island.. :( )Niway..Third year's a very testing year..You'll feel like giving up, you'll go through much hurdles..Always remember, the end of the journey is so near..Just imagine yourself graduating, so proud, so happy walking on the stage receiving that scroll (yeah, empty it might be..)..Yea, I understand that your journey might be even more testing then the rest of others..You've gotta juggle between 2 jobs, a school, and a guy..That is a real test..But girl..There's always this famous saying..God won't test us of what we are not capable of..And ya..I do believe you'll get through this journey beb..I know I can't be there with you and support you always, but believe me..I'm here.. :) ..hehe..What the heck am I talking about..Ahaks..Yeah beb..Just do take care of yourselves ok..I've been through to what you've been thinking to do..I think you know what I mean..We've talked about that once upon a time..And ya, I don't really mind your 'nonsense' la..It's the norm there..Hehe..Can't thank you enough for bearing with my problems and nonsense..hehe..And about him..Oh well..Let him realise himselve..We can't make people change if they dun want to.. =(
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very touched n sum how has given me dat inner strength.. tanks shamie.. luv ya.. dun worri, my back will b oukay soon ya.. hehe..
lurve me, if u dare, hate me, c if i care...
lets juz hope dat after dis blog is published, i dun get bashed like da gal who got beaten up bcoz of her blog.
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Actually yesterday already wanted to sms you but i dunno what should i say.Anyway, i know you cried yesterday on your way to the YCK mrt station. On behalf of all the group members and myself, we really apologise upon the hurting attitude we done to you yesterday.I know you understand the reason why we tok in hokkien.Seriously to say that yes, it is true we are really kind of upset over the way you handle our project.Becuz you seems so busy over your health,your relationship and your work.And you actually kind of neglect our group project.I wont say you NV do anything becuz the truth is tat you did do sumthing.But is like last min work and all info is not enough. I mean this is our last sem for academic,and there are 8 orjects awaiting for us to be complete.And Jolin and myself are busy collating all the work to hope that things can be done asap and at least we can have a break inbetween.However, HS 3034 seems be stopping and pausing again and again.We are far behind the dateline already.Not only towards you, towards the rest of the group memebr and myself, i want a perfect job to be done.You have stick to my group for 2 years.Should know the way i work.I will get piss off if things dont get done. So please pardon me for having to give you damn attitude yesterday. Just hope that things will get better. And please, if in the future, i assign only certain job to you for ICA, please dun misunderstand it.I dont wish to burden you over ICA.And at least, you can concentrate on yoru other things and you can also finish your assignment on time.Just want to say this: Haivng to spend more time on project, is not for anyone else, but for yourself.As i can say our 5 group, we are not match to changhow and jolin's group.So at least, i hope our teamwork can win anyone of them.Shall we? There are still FYP waiting for us to start off.Just hope that starting from community ICA, we will work closely.
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email frm shiqi.. haiz.. i realli dunno wat 2 say already.. im really physically, emotionally tired.. i dun knw wat 2 feel.. its juz da tears wont stop everytime dis topic cum out.. i cant possibly quit my jobs juz bcoz of projects rite? where do i get my money den.. haiz... juz do watveva i can..
lurve me, if u dare, hate me, c if i care...
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
1:20 AM
sumtimes i wonder.. how my life wud hav been like if i were 2 enter junior college instead of uptaking a diploma in nursing @ NYP.. my guess, it would b a totally different situation dat im currently now... da major difference is dat no juggling of jobs and school..
i mean, initially at da start of yr 3, i find dat havin 2 manage 2 jobs n school was oukay.. i mean i still hav tyme 2 spend wif fan, even tho if its juz havin dinner after sch or work and den back 2 our own lives.. but today, i felt totally different..
well, cum 2 tink of it, its not dat i cudn't cope.. its juz dat i feel overwhelmed.. i mean we have 5 icas in total, 1 FYP, 1 theory n 1 practical test (more cuming in da other 2 skills modules) n dat haven include da mini presentations dat each module has..
its not easy 2 juggle 2 jobs n school together u knw.. ya, i guess moz ppl dun knw i hav 2 jobs but hey.. wif me "donating" 2 NUH like every single week or month, where am i suppose 2 dig da money if i dun work and produce my own dough eh??
my health is kinda bad oso.. got a strong feeling i gonna b hospitalised soon.. ya, again... haven been eating well, hair like fallin out even more, losing weight, nose blding frequent den ever until its like a norm 4 me, vomit bld once in a while, no appetite and most importantly, not been taking my supplements i.e: folic acid and iron tablets routinely like i shud.. well im bz wrkin, cant possibly take medi in front of customers rite??
hmmm, today hav been breaking down in front of my frens dunno how many tymes... but dun tink dey notice, well i hope not.. i dun wan ppl 2 label me as a weakling.. cant take stress or always sick type.. but its difficult when i dun hav da intention 2 tell dem da real situation dat im in, n i rather juz accept da workload dey giving even if sumtimes i knw its impossible.. no choice.. nothing is impossible..
been prayin dat God can lighten my burden n juz take my life away.. dunno y i even tot 2 da extent of jumping onto da MRT tracks when da train cums.. haiz.. but its sinful... wont do it.. niwae juz hav 2 face my problems n solve it..
b4 i end my rather lengthy blog, i'll like 2 extend my gratitude 4 da following ppl.. 2 da lady in da MRT who passed me tissue paper when i was crying n nose blding profusely.. can neva tank u enuf.. 2 my grp members 4 being very understanding.. 2 siyun who has given me comfort n hope dat tings will b beta, 2 shuyan n eki who made me feel dat sum1 still cares 4 me, 2 my PH frens who im close wif, tank u 4 being patient wif me n bearing wif my nonsense n my problems...
If tomorrow neva cums 4 me... plz, forgive me 4 all da sins i've done whether intentional or non-intentional, wif my knowledge or not, wif u knowing or not.. plz.. 4give me.. tanks.. dats da only ting im askin 4..
will end my blog here.. i feel sick already.......
lurve me, if u dare, hate me, c if i care...
